1 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,973 That cheeseburger? 2 00:00:13,663 --> 00:00:14,663 No. 3 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,079 Ravioli? 4 00:00:21,493 --> 00:00:22,493 No. 5 00:00:22,907 --> 00:00:23,907 Uh-uh. 6 00:00:32,012 --> 00:00:34,599 I'm gonna go with spinach quiche. 7 00:00:34,737 --> 00:00:35,737 Not even close. 8 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:38,255 Baba ganoush. Ooh! 9 00:00:52,603 --> 00:00:55,190 ♪ Tell me why 10 00:00:55,328 --> 00:00:57,018 ♪ I love you like I do 11 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,881 ♪ Tell me who 12 00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:01,605 ♪ Can stop my heart as much as you 13 00:01:01,743 --> 00:01:03,882 ♪ 'Cause I don't have the answers 14 00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:05,951 ♪ I don't have a plan 15 00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:08,125 ♪ All I have is you, so, baby 16 00:01:08,262 --> 00:01:09,607 ♪ Help me understand 17 00:01:09,745 --> 00:01:11,712 ♪ What we do 18 00:01:11,850 --> 00:01:13,677 ♪ You can whisper in my ear 19 00:01:13,815 --> 00:01:15,816 ♪ Where we go 20 00:01:15,954 --> 00:01:18,403 ♪ Who knows what happens after here? 21 00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:20,403 ♪ Let's take each other's hand 22 00:01:20,541 --> 00:01:23,749 ♪ And jump into the final frontier ♪ 23 00:01:28,578 --> 00:01:31,579 I love this collar. It's so soft and nice. 24 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,717 I can't believe 25 00:01:32,820 --> 00:01:34,340 You spent that kind of money on a coat. 26 00:01:34,407 --> 00:01:35,649 Here, put the baby right there. 27 00:01:35,787 --> 00:01:37,167 Sweetie, it's a coat. 28 00:01:37,304 --> 00:01:39,477 I'm out a-drinkin' and a-gamblin'. 29 00:01:39,615 --> 00:01:41,477 You know, it's an outer garment 30 00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:43,582 I'm using to protect myself from the elements. 31 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,880 Well, I think it's indulgent. 32 00:01:44,961 --> 00:01:46,341 Do you know how much money 33 00:01:46,479 --> 00:01:47,628 it's gonna cost to get a college education 34 00:01:47,652 --> 00:01:49,617 by the time Mabel's 18? 35 00:01:49,755 --> 00:01:51,515 Yeah, and by the way, I bought some water 36 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,067 to sustain my body weight. 37 00:01:53,204 --> 00:01:54,244 I hope that was all right. 38 00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:55,723 You know what I'm talking about. 39 00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:57,378 You're not exactly careful with money. 40 00:01:57,516 --> 00:01:59,586 I got 50 bucks that says that's crazy. 41 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,690 Look what we found, $100. 42 00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:04,827 Oh, my god! 43 00:02:04,932 --> 00:02:06,105 Where'd you find $100? 44 00:02:06,243 --> 00:02:07,690 Right here in the restaurant, 45 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,070 right on the way in. 46 00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:10,633 Did you ask if it belonged to anybody? 47 00:02:10,657 --> 00:02:12,140 Sure, but, they all said no. 48 00:02:12,278 --> 00:02:15,072 A very high quality of personage you get in here. 49 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:16,590 Yeah. How'd you pick this place? 50 00:02:16,728 --> 00:02:17,762 We flipped a coin. 51 00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:18,935 You're kidding? 52 00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:20,601 No, just flipped a coin. We narrowed it down. 53 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,360 It was either this or a Mexican place on third avenue 54 00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:25,247 That-that has burritos the size of your head. 55 00:02:26,454 --> 00:02:28,937 Hi, I'm Steven. I'll be your server today. 56 00:02:29,075 --> 00:02:30,179 What'll it be today? 57 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,972 Muffins or, breadsticks? 58 00:02:33,766 --> 00:02:35,284 Ooh! A choice. Um, 59 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:36,904 Do you want- 60 00:02:37,042 --> 00:02:38,640 Hey, you know what, here's how we settle it. Very simple, 61 00:02:38,664 --> 00:02:40,864 watch what we do. Muffins or, breadstick, you're saying. 62 00:02:40,974 --> 00:02:41,975 Watch this. 63 00:02:42,768 --> 00:02:43,768 Muffins. 64 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,148 Muffins it is. 65 00:02:45,286 --> 00:02:47,149 This is-ha, ha- this is so liberating. 66 00:02:47,287 --> 00:02:49,563 It is. You just flip a coin, make a decision. 67 00:02:49,701 --> 00:02:50,908 You can't live that way. 68 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,599 Let's go to Atlantic city. What? 69 00:02:52,736 --> 00:02:54,288 Yeah, to gamble the $100. 70 00:02:54,426 --> 00:02:55,668 Oh, no, no, no. I don't know. 71 00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:58,082 Oh, come on, Burt, we're playing with house money. 72 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,979 House money? Where-where did you learn an expression like that? 73 00:03:01,118 --> 00:03:04,670 We have riverboat night at the community center. 74 00:03:04,808 --> 00:03:06,688 Let's flip the coin to decide if they should go. 75 00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:08,430 Heads we go, tails we stay. 76 00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,430 All right, here we go. And, 77 00:03:10,568 --> 00:03:11,688 Atlantic city, you're going. 78 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,190 Whoo! 79 00:03:13,224 --> 00:03:14,673 Hey, everybody. 80 00:03:14,811 --> 00:03:18,018 I'd like you to meet my friend Molly and her son Logan. 81 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,432 What, you're dating a woman with a child? 82 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,089 You know, mom, they're actually at the table. 83 00:03:26,296 --> 00:03:28,021 Ira and I are just old friends. 84 00:03:28,159 --> 00:03:30,228 That's right. Hey, make yourself comfortable, kid. 85 00:03:30,366 --> 00:03:33,574 Paulie, do me a favor. Ask Logan a math question. 86 00:03:33,711 --> 00:03:34,712 A math question? 87 00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:36,481 Yeah, yeah, I'm serious. Go ahead. Anything. 88 00:03:36,505 --> 00:03:42,438 All right, uh, what-what is, uh, 418 times 642? 89 00:03:42,576 --> 00:03:45,129 268,356. 90 00:03:47,784 --> 00:03:48,784 That's right. 91 00:03:50,544 --> 00:03:51,544 Muffins. 92 00:03:51,613 --> 00:03:52,854 Thank you very much. 93 00:03:52,992 --> 00:03:54,234 Okay, all right, 94 00:03:54,372 --> 00:03:55,590 What? just a second, everybody. 95 00:03:55,614 --> 00:03:56,614 Look at my muffin. 96 00:03:56,648 --> 00:03:57,648 What about it? 97 00:03:57,752 --> 00:04:00,063 My muffin looks like Madonna. 98 00:04:01,546 --> 00:04:02,581 It does not. 99 00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:03,719 From Evita? 100 00:04:04,236 --> 00:04:05,236 Oh, my god! 101 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:10,789 I don't see it. 102 00:04:10,927 --> 00:04:11,928 From Evita. 103 00:04:12,307 --> 00:04:13,376 Oh, yeah. 104 00:04:14,101 --> 00:04:15,653 I mean, this is wild. 105 00:04:15,791 --> 00:04:18,653 We flip a coin and pick a restaurant where you guys find $100, 106 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:21,482 we flip it again to pick muffins over breadsticks, 107 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:24,276 and you end up with a muffin that looks exactly like Madonna. 108 00:04:24,414 --> 00:04:26,035 Oh, scary. 109 00:04:26,173 --> 00:04:27,173 Paul? 110 00:04:28,242 --> 00:04:29,346 Paul Buchman. 111 00:04:29,484 --> 00:04:31,036 Yeah, yeah, Lou, how are you doing? 112 00:04:31,174 --> 00:04:32,174 How are you? 113 00:04:32,312 --> 00:04:33,795 It's been a while. How you been, sir? 114 00:04:33,933 --> 00:04:35,658 Great, great. I'm working over 115 00:04:35,796 --> 00:04:38,486 At the television news magazine show Hard Editionnow. 116 00:04:38,624 --> 00:04:39,694 Oh, is that right? 117 00:04:39,831 --> 00:04:40,831 Yeah, Hard Edition. 118 00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:42,004 Good, good, good. 119 00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:43,832 Just started over at Hard Edition. 120 00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:47,661 Trying to get my first segment produced over there at Hard Edition. 121 00:04:48,351 --> 00:04:49,765 Good, good for you. 122 00:04:50,283 --> 00:04:51,283 Okay. 123 00:04:54,524 --> 00:04:56,387 So, uh, you know my wife Jamie. 124 00:04:56,525 --> 00:04:58,250 Oh, for heaven's sake. I'm so sorry. 125 00:04:58,387 --> 00:04:59,507 Lou Bonaparte, Hard Edition. 126 00:04:59,561 --> 00:05:00,630 Yeah. 127 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:01,768 My folks. 128 00:05:01,871 --> 00:05:02,991 Lou Bonaparte, Hard Edition. 129 00:05:03,044 --> 00:05:04,838 You know, Paul, uh, 130 00:05:04,975 --> 00:05:06,562 I couldn't help but, overhear you saying 131 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,563 you had miraculously received a muffin 132 00:05:08,701 --> 00:05:10,701 That looks exactly like the Madonna? 133 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:12,977 No, not the Madonna, Madonna the singer. 134 00:05:13,115 --> 00:05:14,116 Oh. 135 00:05:15,047 --> 00:05:16,047 I don't see it. 136 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,116 From Evita. 137 00:05:17,254 --> 00:05:18,392 I see it! 138 00:05:19,772 --> 00:05:21,393 It's miraculous, Paul. 139 00:05:21,531 --> 00:05:24,083 This-this could be a sign from the almighty. 140 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,646 Do you understand what we're saying? 141 00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:28,395 It's Madonna the singer. 142 00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:31,085 Exactly. Not Celine Dion or, Lou Rawls 143 00:05:31,224 --> 00:05:33,914 Or, someone whose name has no religious underpinning whatsoever. 144 00:05:34,051 --> 00:05:35,051 Madonna, Paul. 145 00:05:36,328 --> 00:05:38,673 And you say you haven't had a segment produced yet, huh? 146 00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:41,674 Lou, there's- 147 00:05:41,812 --> 00:05:43,374 Paul, what are your plans for the muffin? 148 00:05:43,398 --> 00:05:44,985 Um, um, 149 00:05:45,123 --> 00:05:46,986 plans? I don't know that we have plans, Lou. 150 00:05:47,124 --> 00:05:49,721 A little butter, have some coffee with the muffin. That's about it. 151 00:05:49,745 --> 00:05:52,814 Oh, that muffin has Hard Edition written all over it, 152 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,205 and I'm telling you, we'll pay you for it. 153 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,509 We'll pay you handsomely for it, 154 00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:57,413 for the exclusive rights to a story on the muffin. 155 00:05:57,437 --> 00:05:58,506 Handsomely? 156 00:05:58,644 --> 00:06:00,092 Embarrassingly handsomely. 157 00:06:00,231 --> 00:06:04,955 Wow! Enough maybe to sock away for, oh, our daughter's education? 158 00:06:05,093 --> 00:06:07,242 Look at that? What, I'm against education for my daughter? 159 00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,440 No, I'm saying he's gonna pay us handsomely. 160 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:10,978 Yeah, 'cause they have no integrity. 161 00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:14,130 So you're worried about the integrity of the muffin? 162 00:06:14,268 --> 00:06:15,268 Do you want- 163 00:06:18,304 --> 00:06:19,925 Here's how we settle it. Watch this. 164 00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:21,063 Ready? 165 00:06:23,270 --> 00:06:27,478 Can you tell us, was there any special way the coin was chosen? 166 00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:31,238 No, Lou, there really was not. 167 00:06:31,376 --> 00:06:34,515 Um, I needed a quarter 168 00:06:34,653 --> 00:06:35,963 'cause I was doing laundry, 169 00:06:36,101 --> 00:06:37,594 and we were trying to pick a restaurant, 170 00:06:37,618 --> 00:06:40,205 so I just reached into the change bowl. 171 00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:43,724 Fantastic. So, 172 00:06:46,207 --> 00:06:49,243 so, in a way, this is the coin of destiny. 173 00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:53,346 Lou, what would I have to say to you 174 00:06:53,484 --> 00:06:54,764 to make this less of a big deal? 175 00:06:54,829 --> 00:06:57,176 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 176 00:06:57,313 --> 00:07:00,037 I'm with you, I'm with you. For want of a load of laundry 177 00:07:00,176 --> 00:07:02,522 the coin of destiny was born. 178 00:07:02,659 --> 00:07:06,557 And from that coin of destiny, an epic muffin. 179 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,074 And from the epic muffin- 180 00:07:08,212 --> 00:07:10,592 All right, both of you, just stop it. 181 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,040 Why can't you just believe? 182 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,180 Excuse me. Lou, you think you pretty much 183 00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:16,478 have everything you need now? 184 00:07:16,559 --> 00:07:18,388 Nope. Tip of the iceberg, my friend. 185 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,525 Okay. 186 00:07:19,595 --> 00:07:21,422 Hey. Hi 187 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,296 Paulie, can I talk to you for a minute? Sure. 188 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,760 Yes, and when you're talking to Paul, 189 00:07:24,837 --> 00:07:25,986 you can talk to Hard Edition. 190 00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,355 If you don't mind, just Paul. 191 00:07:27,493 --> 00:07:28,493 All right, sir. 192 00:07:29,735 --> 00:07:30,735 What's up? 193 00:07:30,838 --> 00:07:32,632 Let me ask you something. 194 00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:34,323 What did you think of Logan? 195 00:07:34,460 --> 00:07:35,667 Nice kid, like him, nice. 196 00:07:35,805 --> 00:07:37,012 Yeah, that's all? 197 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,875 Like a human abacus, but- 198 00:07:40,462 --> 00:07:42,358 Just nice, nice kid. Why? 199 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,221 I- I think he might be my son. 200 00:07:45,773 --> 00:07:47,291 I'm sorry. What, what, what? 201 00:07:47,429 --> 00:07:50,222 Yeah, yeah, I mean, Molly, she's not sure who Logan's father is, see. 202 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:51,947 And he's 12 years old, 203 00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:55,741 and it was about 12 years and 9 months ago that Molly and I were together. 204 00:07:55,879 --> 00:07:57,719 In my life, I've never heard you mention Molly. 205 00:07:57,776 --> 00:07:59,121 It was just a one-time thing. 206 00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:00,845 It was during "hands across America." 207 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,468 You mean, during-during the actual demonstration? 208 00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:07,951 Yeah. 209 00:08:08,089 --> 00:08:09,209 Okay, see, here's the thing. 210 00:08:09,331 --> 00:08:11,011 You were just supposed to be holding hands. 211 00:08:12,779 --> 00:08:16,677 Come on, you're standing with a cute girl in a ditch holding hands. 212 00:08:16,815 --> 00:08:18,678 Any moron could close that deal. 213 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,334 Hey, how come you just got one kind of mustard? 214 00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:25,611 Because we're cavemen. 215 00:08:25,749 --> 00:08:28,405 What-what-what-what are you gonna do about this now? 216 00:08:28,543 --> 00:08:30,888 I'm gonna go down after this and get a blood test. 217 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,371 Wow! You know what? 218 00:08:33,509 --> 00:08:34,549 I'll bet you it's nothing. 219 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:35,865 I'll bet you you'll be free and clear. 220 00:08:35,889 --> 00:08:37,579 Yeah, but, Paulie, here's the thing. 221 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,373 I'm not sure I want it to be free and clear. 222 00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:41,590 What are you talking about? 223 00:08:41,615 --> 00:08:43,339 I mean I like this kid. I really do. 224 00:08:43,477 --> 00:08:46,823 And it's strange. I feel like a connection with him. I cant explain it. 225 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,306 Ha ha. Ira, Ira, Ira, Ira, Ira, Ira. 226 00:08:49,444 --> 00:08:50,444 What? 227 00:08:51,306 --> 00:08:52,789 Let me explain something to you. 228 00:08:52,927 --> 00:08:55,514 Fatherhood is a very complicated thing. 229 00:08:55,652 --> 00:08:57,928 You don't just walk into a relationship. 230 00:08:58,066 --> 00:08:59,446 There's a lot of- there's building- 231 00:08:59,584 --> 00:09:01,206 Cut it out, will ya? 232 00:09:02,102 --> 00:09:03,447 What do you think? I know that. 233 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,103 You think this is some- some goofball impulse? 234 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:09,173 I am profoundly moved by the notion that this could by my flesh and blood, 235 00:09:09,311 --> 00:09:12,208 and I'm deeply, deeply drawn to him as a parent. 236 00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:14,623 Okay, okay, I'm, I'm sorry. 237 00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:21,934 Hey, Marvin. 238 00:09:22,003 --> 00:09:23,083 I want to talk to the coin. 239 00:09:23,211 --> 00:09:25,694 Oh, for god's sake, Marvin. 240 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:29,282 Ask the coin if I should call my ex-girlfriend one more time. 241 00:09:31,454 --> 00:09:33,834 Marvin, it's-it's a coin. 242 00:09:33,972 --> 00:09:36,041 No, it's not. It's the coin of destiny. 243 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:38,697 It's a quarter. 244 00:09:39,456 --> 00:09:40,836 You used to be a lot wackier. 245 00:09:44,388 --> 00:09:46,508 All right, Marv, okay, yes, it is the coin of destiny, 246 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:49,458 but, it's the coin of very small destiny. 247 00:09:49,596 --> 00:09:51,839 You know, it's the coin of muffins versus breadsticks. 248 00:09:51,976 --> 00:09:54,770 It is not the coin of life decisions. 249 00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:55,908 Thanks, Paul. 250 00:09:55,977 --> 00:09:57,219 Oh, honey. 251 00:09:57,357 --> 00:09:58,885 All right, all right, Marvin, Marvin, all right. 252 00:09:58,909 --> 00:10:01,013 How many times have you called her already? 253 00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:02,461 Uh, 254 00:10:02,599 --> 00:10:03,738 That one doesn't count, 255 00:10:04,324 --> 00:10:05,462 18. 256 00:10:06,669 --> 00:10:08,152 Yikes! 257 00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:11,533 Okay, Marvin, the coin feels you should seek counseling. 258 00:10:13,671 --> 00:10:14,913 Flip it, please? 259 00:10:15,051 --> 00:10:16,200 All right, all right, all right. 260 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:17,603 Heads you don't call her, 261 00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:19,328 and tails, give her a call. 262 00:10:19,466 --> 00:10:21,086 Heads! So definitely the answer is 263 00:10:21,225 --> 00:10:22,226 Don't call her. 264 00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:23,604 Flip it again. 265 00:10:24,847 --> 00:10:25,847 Heads. 266 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:26,916 Flip it again. 267 00:10:28,606 --> 00:10:29,606 Heads. 268 00:10:29,744 --> 00:10:31,055 Flip it again. 269 00:10:31,193 --> 00:10:33,113 Marvin, don't do this to yourself. Just go ahead. 270 00:10:33,573 --> 00:10:34,987 Heads. 271 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:38,022 Okay, all right, let's test the coin. 272 00:10:38,677 --> 00:10:40,782 Let's see, ask it 273 00:10:40,919 --> 00:10:44,885 If I'm a 5'1" Swedish woman. 274 00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:49,611 Tails. Wow! 275 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:50,784 Stupid coin. 276 00:10:50,922 --> 00:10:53,129 Hey, hey, hey, don't insult the coin. 277 00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:55,957 Note to self. Coin may be bigger story than muffin. 278 00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,751 Lou, I'll give you $100 to just get out of here. 279 00:10:59,889 --> 00:11:01,442 Yeah. Just throw our money around. 280 00:11:02,718 --> 00:11:03,718 Hello. 281 00:11:03,856 --> 00:11:04,856 Paulie? 282 00:11:04,959 --> 00:11:05,959 Hey, pop. Where are you? 283 00:11:05,994 --> 00:11:07,305 Atlantic city. 284 00:11:07,443 --> 00:11:08,660 Atlantic city? Winning or, losing? 285 00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:09,858 Winning! 286 00:11:09,995 --> 00:11:10,995 Oh, really? How much? 287 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,892 $9,500. 288 00:11:14,755 --> 00:11:17,273 You guys won $9,500? 289 00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:18,929 Yeah, yeah. Oh, we have to go. 290 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:20,274 All right. You know what? 291 00:11:20,412 --> 00:11:21,412 Go and enjoy it. 292 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,516 Okay. Bye. 293 00:11:22,654 --> 00:11:25,137 That is the coin of destiny. 294 00:11:25,275 --> 00:11:26,275 Stop it. 295 00:11:26,344 --> 00:11:27,389 You still don't believe it? 296 00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:28,413 No, I don't believe it. 297 00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:29,482 Fine. Do me a fav- 298 00:11:30,311 --> 00:11:31,311 How ya doin'? 299 00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:32,725 All right. Listen. Do me a favor. 300 00:11:32,863 --> 00:11:34,503 Ask that coin a question for me, will you? 301 00:11:35,139 --> 00:11:36,174 Okay. What? 302 00:11:36,313 --> 00:11:37,726 Ask that coin 303 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:41,521 If my husband Paul ordered $30 worth of dinner last night 304 00:11:41,658 --> 00:11:42,944 to be delivered here while I was sleeping, 305 00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:44,928 even though there was plenty of food in the house. 306 00:11:49,074 --> 00:11:50,074 Excuse us one second. 307 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,247 No, no, no, no, no. 308 00:11:51,385 --> 00:11:52,385 I want you to hear this. 309 00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:53,592 Go ahead, ask it. 310 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:54,730 I would never do that. 311 00:11:54,765 --> 00:11:56,455 Ask the coin. 312 00:11:56,593 --> 00:11:57,914 I don't have to ask the coin, 'Cause I know I would never do that. 313 00:11:57,938 --> 00:11:59,604 Go ahead, ask it. I don't have to ask it... 314 00:11:59,628 --> 00:12:00,835 And at the same time, 315 00:12:00,973 --> 00:12:02,743 ask it if you left half an egg roll on the nightstand. 316 00:12:02,767 --> 00:12:03,802 Huh. 317 00:12:06,836 --> 00:12:08,116 I left an egg roll on the night- 318 00:12:08,181 --> 00:12:09,221 You're just talking crazy. 319 00:12:09,252 --> 00:12:10,975 Ask it, ask it. Just ask it. 320 00:12:11,113 --> 00:12:12,390 Okay, fine. 321 00:12:12,528 --> 00:12:13,631 Alright? 322 00:12:13,769 --> 00:12:14,942 The coin is wrong. 323 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,356 Uh-huh. Ask it if you bought 324 00:12:16,494 --> 00:12:17,908 the Fleetwood mac laser disc 325 00:12:18,046 --> 00:12:19,978 even though you already own the CD boxed set. 326 00:12:23,945 --> 00:12:25,531 I didn't-A, 327 00:12:25,669 --> 00:12:27,290 and two-they're very different because- 328 00:12:27,428 --> 00:12:28,601 Ask it, ask it, ask it. 329 00:12:28,739 --> 00:12:29,739 Okay. 330 00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,774 The coin's wrong again. 331 00:12:31,911 --> 00:12:34,016 Ask it if you've been making calls to brokers 332 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,634 to get floor seats for the knick game. 333 00:12:35,741 --> 00:12:36,741 What, are you tailing me? 334 00:12:36,775 --> 00:12:38,051 Ask it. 335 00:12:41,569 --> 00:12:42,856 All right. It's the coin of destiny. 336 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:43,914 Thank you. 337 00:12:44,052 --> 00:12:45,412 Now do you believe? Yes, I believe. 338 00:12:52,676 --> 00:12:53,917 Look at that. 339 00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,263 It's unbelievable. 340 00:12:55,401 --> 00:12:56,401 It looks like 341 00:12:56,504 --> 00:12:57,860 it's gonna jump right up off the plate 342 00:12:57,884 --> 00:13:00,747 and sing Don't cry for me, Argentina. 343 00:13:00,885 --> 00:13:02,230 Hey, everybody. 344 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,023 Ah, the Oracle and Mrs. Oracle. 345 00:13:04,161 --> 00:13:05,161 Ooh. 346 00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:06,472 Lou, you're hovering again. 347 00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:08,300 Not hovering. Investigating. 348 00:13:08,438 --> 00:13:10,542 Okay, Paulie, the question is, 349 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,301 Should I buy 500 shares of Eastman Kodak? 350 00:13:13,439 --> 00:13:15,337 Let's take a look, shall we? 351 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,440 Call your broker. 352 00:13:17,544 --> 00:13:18,682 I love that coin. 353 00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:23,166 Hello. House of Coin. 354 00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:25,477 Hey. Fran, hi. How you doin'? 355 00:13:26,408 --> 00:13:29,236 Oh, I understand. Yeah, okay. Hold on. 356 00:13:29,374 --> 00:13:31,961 Okay. That's yes on proposition 108, 357 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,031 and apparently, 358 00:13:35,169 --> 00:13:36,445 no on the bond issue. 359 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:38,859 Happy to help. 360 00:13:38,997 --> 00:13:40,557 That's what we do here at house of coin. 361 00:13:42,584 --> 00:13:43,964 I've never been an Oracle before, 362 00:13:44,102 --> 00:13:45,447 but, I gotta say, I like it. 363 00:13:46,689 --> 00:13:47,689 Okay. 364 00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:49,793 All right. 365 00:13:50,966 --> 00:13:52,759 How about this? 366 00:13:52,897 --> 00:13:55,863 Ask your coin if calling my ex-girlfriend 367 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,347 is not something I should do. 368 00:13:58,485 --> 00:14:00,209 Should I highlight my hair? 369 00:14:00,348 --> 00:14:01,727 Boxers or, briefs? 370 00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:03,140 No, no, no. You guys, 371 00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:05,245 the coin is not a toy. In fact, give me that. 372 00:14:05,383 --> 00:14:07,314 No, we are not gonna play with it 373 00:14:07,452 --> 00:14:09,004 like a bunch of silly children. 374 00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:11,947 I want you all to sit there 375 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,440 and think about how you're behaving. 376 00:14:22,284 --> 00:14:23,284 Oh, my god. 377 00:14:26,871 --> 00:14:28,354 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 378 00:14:29,562 --> 00:14:30,596 Oh, my god. 379 00:14:35,217 --> 00:14:36,770 Oh, my god. 380 00:15:02,363 --> 00:15:04,224 I'm searching for the coin of destiny. 381 00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:07,433 I see. 382 00:15:10,192 --> 00:15:11,572 So, to me, 383 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,606 the coin means hope, 384 00:15:13,744 --> 00:15:16,711 hope that Louanne really does love me 385 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,263 and maybe one day 386 00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:22,229 there will be joy in my heart again. 387 00:15:26,575 --> 00:15:27,575 Hey. 388 00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:28,955 Hey. Are we glad to see you. 389 00:15:29,092 --> 00:15:30,266 Ask the coin, 390 00:15:30,404 --> 00:15:32,197 tonight, should we have Chinese or, Italian? 391 00:15:32,922 --> 00:15:34,336 What are we really saying, 392 00:15:34,473 --> 00:15:35,715 that we're actually incapable 393 00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:37,302 of making a decision on our own? 394 00:15:38,509 --> 00:15:39,789 Pretty much at this point, yeah. 395 00:15:40,786 --> 00:15:42,131 So, what, flip the coin. 396 00:15:42,269 --> 00:15:43,452 I don't know that we should be rely- 397 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,521 Flip the coin. Flip the coin. 398 00:15:44,545 --> 00:15:45,994 Heads, Chinese. Tails, Italian. 399 00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:49,028 Chinese. 400 00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:51,306 There you go. 401 00:15:51,444 --> 00:15:52,685 Another decision made nicely. 402 00:15:52,823 --> 00:15:53,823 Hello. 403 00:15:54,271 --> 00:15:55,823 Hey, pop. 404 00:15:55,961 --> 00:15:57,686 Well, let me ask. Hang on a second. 405 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,273 Sweetie. It's my dad. Red or, black? 406 00:16:00,411 --> 00:16:01,756 What? 407 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,181 They're at the roulette wheel. Atlantic city. Red or, black? 408 00:16:04,205 --> 00:16:05,412 The roulette wheel? 409 00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,654 Red or, black? Flip flip flip flip. 410 00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:11,655 Red. 411 00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:12,896 Red it is. 412 00:16:13,863 --> 00:16:14,863 You got it. 413 00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:16,281 I got another call. I'll see you. 414 00:16:16,897 --> 00:16:17,897 Hello. 415 00:16:18,002 --> 00:16:19,864 Hey, Mark. How you doin'? 416 00:16:20,002 --> 00:16:21,416 Let me ask. Hold on a second. 417 00:16:21,554 --> 00:16:23,727 Sweetie, it's mark. Corned beef or, brisket? 418 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,692 Corned beef. 419 00:16:25,797 --> 00:16:28,556 CB. You need any help with the side dish? 420 00:16:28,693 --> 00:16:30,522 No. He's okay with the side dish. 421 00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:33,316 Yeah. Enjoy. Got another call. 422 00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:36,971 Hello. Hi. Who's this? 423 00:16:37,524 --> 00:16:39,731 Millie and Barney Kraft. 424 00:16:39,869 --> 00:16:41,801 Oh, you met my folks in Atlantic city there. 425 00:16:42,973 --> 00:16:44,146 Oh, isn't that nice? 426 00:16:44,284 --> 00:16:45,457 What is it? 427 00:16:45,595 --> 00:16:47,156 I'll be happy to help. Hold on one second. 428 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,905 Sweetie, station wagon or, a minivan? 429 00:16:51,975 --> 00:16:53,182 Minivan, but I don't think- 430 00:16:53,321 --> 00:16:54,700 It's the minivan. 431 00:16:54,838 --> 00:16:55,976 Happy to help. 432 00:16:57,632 --> 00:16:59,598 With that coin and one of those multi-line phones, 433 00:16:59,736 --> 00:17:00,977 I could be the king of France. 434 00:17:03,461 --> 00:17:05,462 Hey, look who's here. Come on in, come on in. 435 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,669 Hey, got any food? 436 00:17:06,807 --> 00:17:09,186 It's okay. Kitchen's right through there. 437 00:17:09,325 --> 00:17:10,773 I thought we'd come over, 438 00:17:10,911 --> 00:17:12,290 spend a little time with Logan, 439 00:17:12,428 --> 00:17:15,395 let him establish those all-important family bonds. 440 00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:16,912 Ira, don't you think 441 00:17:17,050 --> 00:17:18,786 You're getting a little ahead of yourself here? 442 00:17:18,810 --> 00:17:20,706 I'm telling you. I am the kid's father. 443 00:17:20,844 --> 00:17:22,879 If you don't believe me, forget this blood test. 444 00:17:23,017 --> 00:17:24,087 Just ask the coin. 445 00:17:24,224 --> 00:17:25,776 Oh, I don't think we wanna use- 446 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:26,959 Why don't you just ask the coin? 447 00:17:26,983 --> 00:17:27,995 You want me to flip my own coin? 448 00:17:28,019 --> 00:17:29,295 Flip your own coin. 449 00:17:30,881 --> 00:17:31,985 That's not gonna work. 450 00:17:32,122 --> 00:17:33,951 This is the only coin that does that. 451 00:17:34,089 --> 00:17:35,331 This is the coin that does it. 452 00:17:35,469 --> 00:17:38,124 I think DNA testing edges out the coin in this case. 453 00:17:38,262 --> 00:17:39,401 Just flip it. 454 00:17:39,539 --> 00:17:40,780 This is exciting. 455 00:17:40,918 --> 00:17:42,397 Heads-I'm the father. Tails-I'm not. 456 00:17:43,367 --> 00:17:44,574 And the answer is, 457 00:17:47,886 --> 00:17:48,886 Heads. 458 00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:50,989 Wow. 459 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:52,783 Wow. 460 00:17:53,059 --> 00:17:54,059 Wow. 461 00:17:55,266 --> 00:17:56,301 Wow. 462 00:17:57,508 --> 00:17:58,715 I'm a dad. 463 00:17:58,853 --> 00:18:01,820 This coin has never been tested at all to any degree. 464 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:04,303 Hey, Paulie. How come you got only one kind of mustard? 465 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,718 That's my boy! 466 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,236 I love that you and I have the coin of destiny. 467 00:18:12,374 --> 00:18:15,582 Sweetie, this is not the coin of destiny. 468 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,065 Hey, are you losing faith in the coin? 469 00:18:18,203 --> 00:18:20,376 I accidentally put the coin of destiny 470 00:18:20,514 --> 00:18:21,963 Into the washing machine. 471 00:18:23,308 --> 00:18:25,273 Well, that's not a good use of the coin, 472 00:18:25,412 --> 00:18:26,412 now, is it? 473 00:18:27,516 --> 00:18:28,758 Gee. Really? 474 00:18:28,896 --> 00:18:30,068 Well, go get it back. 475 00:18:30,206 --> 00:18:31,517 Yes, all right, I'll do that. 476 00:18:31,654 --> 00:18:33,137 Good luck. 477 00:18:33,275 --> 00:18:35,655 It's in here with 5,000 other quarters. 478 00:18:36,069 --> 00:18:37,104 Oh. 479 00:18:37,622 --> 00:18:39,139 When was this? 480 00:18:39,277 --> 00:18:41,105 Before, when I went down to do the laundry. 481 00:18:42,002 --> 00:18:43,451 So we've been dispensing advice 482 00:18:43,588 --> 00:18:46,003 based on a false coin of destiny. 483 00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,314 This is what I'm saying. 484 00:18:47,452 --> 00:18:49,383 Well, that's just irresponsible. 485 00:18:49,521 --> 00:18:51,177 You're the one begging me to flip it. 486 00:18:51,315 --> 00:18:53,488 Well, I didn't think you'd be so flippant with it. 487 00:18:54,971 --> 00:18:56,143 Idea for follow-up- 488 00:18:56,281 --> 00:18:57,523 Paul and Jamie a year later. 489 00:19:02,524 --> 00:19:03,593 Who is it? 490 00:19:03,731 --> 00:19:05,732 It's us, Burt and Sylvia Buchman! 491 00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,698 Your Irate parents. 492 00:19:07,836 --> 00:19:08,974 What do you mean, Irate? 493 00:19:09,112 --> 00:19:10,595 Give me that coin. 494 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,768 Why? 495 00:19:11,906 --> 00:19:14,734 We want to stamp it and smoosh it 496 00:19:14,872 --> 00:19:16,390 And hurt it and bend it- 497 00:19:16,528 --> 00:19:18,494 I get the idea. What happened? 498 00:19:18,632 --> 00:19:20,080 Black. Black happened. 499 00:19:20,218 --> 00:19:23,322 21 roulette wheels in a row, all black. 500 00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:25,012 Thank you, coin. 501 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,359 Wow. Well, the coin is speechless. 502 00:19:29,497 --> 00:19:32,738 The coin doesn't know what to, what to say. 503 00:19:32,876 --> 00:19:34,498 Hello. Hey, Mark. 504 00:19:34,636 --> 00:19:35,916 What do you mean, food poisoning? 505 00:19:38,257 --> 00:19:39,809 Oh, that sounds-you know what? 506 00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:41,147 Just call us when you're done. 507 00:19:44,396 --> 00:19:46,466 There's a man who wishes he had brisket. 508 00:19:48,018 --> 00:19:49,329 Hey, Marvin. What... Hi. 509 00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:51,709 Hey, everybody. 510 00:19:51,847 --> 00:19:54,606 I'd like to introduce my fiancée Louanne. 511 00:19:56,158 --> 00:19:57,469 Your fiancée? 512 00:19:57,606 --> 00:19:59,814 I finally thought, screw the coin of destiny, 513 00:19:59,952 --> 00:20:01,367 and I called her. 514 00:20:02,297 --> 00:20:05,229 I just was so impressed by his persistence. 515 00:20:05,368 --> 00:20:08,092 19 times is the charm, huh, guys? 516 00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:10,920 I guess so, huh? 517 00:20:11,058 --> 00:20:12,161 And Marvin's such an angel. 518 00:20:12,299 --> 00:20:13,931 He's already paid off all my credit cards. 519 00:20:13,955 --> 00:20:15,024 Is that right? 520 00:20:15,162 --> 00:20:16,542 And he's gonna re-sod my lawn. 521 00:20:17,232 --> 00:20:18,232 That's nice of you. 522 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:19,681 And he agreed to no sex. 523 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,751 Stand back, everybody. She's all mine. 524 00:20:26,889 --> 00:20:28,442 Possible future segment- 525 00:20:28,580 --> 00:20:29,856 Husbands without hope. 526 00:20:32,201 --> 00:20:33,201 Hey. 527 00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:34,340 Oh, what's the matter? 528 00:20:34,478 --> 00:20:37,513 Blood work came back, and I am not the father. 529 00:20:37,651 --> 00:20:38,823 Ooh. 530 00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:40,410 Are you okay? 531 00:20:40,479 --> 00:20:41,824 Yeah, sure. It's okay. 532 00:20:41,962 --> 00:20:43,283 There's a "free Tibet" rally down at the UN. A little later. 533 00:20:43,307 --> 00:20:44,427 I'm thinking of stopping by. 534 00:20:46,308 --> 00:20:48,170 Listen, it's a little disappointment. 535 00:20:48,308 --> 00:20:50,792 At least no real damage was done, you know? 536 00:20:54,793 --> 00:20:55,793 Hi. 537 00:20:55,896 --> 00:20:57,069 Here's your minivan. 538 00:20:58,587 --> 00:21:00,070 Honey, you know the Krafts. 539 00:21:10,383 --> 00:21:12,591 No one knows for sure 540 00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,074 which quarter in the pillowcase 541 00:21:14,212 --> 00:21:15,970 Is the coin of destiny. 542 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,833 Some day, oh, maybe some lucky fella, 543 00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:20,489 or, gal. 544 00:21:20,558 --> 00:21:21,558 Thanks a lot. 545 00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:24,490 Will find the coin 546 00:21:24,628 --> 00:21:27,180 and rediscover its amazing powers. 547 00:21:27,318 --> 00:21:29,146 Maybe it'll be you. 548 00:21:29,284 --> 00:21:30,871 Maybe it'll be your neighbor. 549 00:21:31,802 --> 00:21:32,905 Maybe it'll be your uncle. 550 00:21:34,319 --> 00:21:36,390 Maybe it'll be your neighbor's uncle. 551 00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:38,217 Maybe it'll be your uncle's neighbor. 552 00:21:39,149 --> 00:21:40,529 Maybe your uncle is your neighbor. 553 00:21:41,805 --> 00:21:43,081 Lou, if we could just... 554 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:46,322 Or, maybe, just maybe, It'll be me... 555 00:21:46,461 --> 00:21:48,565 Lou Bonaparte for Hard Edition. 556 00:22:38,094 --> 00:22:39,991 No one knows for sure 557 00:22:40,129 --> 00:22:41,509 which quarter in the pillowcase 558 00:22:41,646 --> 00:22:43,544 is the coin of destiny. 559 00:22:43,682 --> 00:22:46,407 Some day, oh, maybe some lucky fella, 560 00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:48,165 or, gal. 561 00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,235 Thanks a lot. 562 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:52,166 Will find the coin 563 00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,581 and rediscover its amazing powers. 564 00:22:55,132 --> 00:22:56,788 Maybe it'll be you. 565 00:22:56,926 --> 00:22:58,754 Maybe it'll be your neighbor. 566 00:22:59,548 --> 00:23:00,962 Maybe it'll be your uncle. 567 00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:04,100 Maybe it'll be your neighbor's uncle. 568 00:23:04,238 --> 00:23:06,101 Maybe it'll be your uncle's neighbor. 569 00:23:07,032 --> 00:23:08,377 Maybe your uncle is your neighbor. 570 00:23:09,412 --> 00:23:11,171 Lou, if we could just- 571 00:23:11,309 --> 00:23:13,999 or, maybe, just maybe, It'll be me. 572 00:23:14,137 --> 00:23:16,655 Lou Bonaparte for Hard Edition.